iCry
by bFishstix
Summary: What happens when you lose the two people who brought you into this world? ... You get depressed and that’s what Sam is. --one-shot?


A/N- I tried my best on this fanfic. I know I'm not the best writer out there. I just write for a hobby. But I'll take constructive criticism. What the hey; I've got to learn from my mistakes. And I know we all never ever seen Sam's dad on the show, but what if she did have one and… well, you'll find out when you read this…

((Disclamer: Dear Father lyrics aren't mine; they belong to Sum 41, and What Hurts the Most is by Rascal Flatts. I don't own iCarly either.))

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**iCry**

_**As Sam heard the words come out of her mom's mouth, she instantly dropped her smile into a frown and got tears in her eyes. "You're kidding, right? I mean, he has to be my father." She pointed to the picture on the wall and looked at her dad and said, "You were there when I was born." She was confused. **_

_**Her dad came over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. "That was photo-shopped." She got a funny feeling inside her stomach, and she was silent. **_

"_**I'm truly sorry. We should've told you sooner." He rubbed her back with one hand. **_

"_**Why?" She asked, stepping back from him. "Where's my real father?" **_

_**Her mom shrugged. **_

"_**You don't know?!" She exclaimed. "Do you at least know his name?" **_

_**Her mom shook her head and mouthed the word no. **_

_**She gave her mom a dirty look. She walked to the hallway and said, "I just don't get it!" She went to her room and slammed the door. **_

_**----**_

_**Two days later, she was at Carly's house.**_

"_**I'm sorry about your dad, Sam." Spencer said to her. **_

_**She looked at him, sadly. She was starting to forget about that. "Thanks. You just made my day!" she said sarcastically. **_

_**Spencer looked around. "Oops. I'm sorry."**_

_**She shook her head. "No. It's not your fault." She looked down at her shoes. "It's his fault." She had tears in her eyes. **_

_**Carly reached out for a hug and she accepted. **_

_**A sound of a phone ringing broke their silence. Sam pulled away from Carly. She brought her cell out from her pocket and got a surprise. "What? Why would my aunt be calling me? We've haven't spoken in years." She answered it. **_

_**Her aunt explained what happened and she got that feeling inside her stomach again. Then she hung up and dropped down on the couch. "My mom just had a bad car accident and she isn't alright," she said through her tears. She and her mom rarely spoke to each other, but she still did love her.**_

_**Now she had lost both parents. **_

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There she was, on her bed with a blue and purple comforter. She buried her face into the pillow and cried. "Why," she asked herself. "Why? I can't believe my _dad_. And now my mom is gone. Argh! I loved both of them." She lifted up and thought, "Now, who's going to take care of me? Maybe I become a emancipated minor. That'd be fun. Um, no, it'd be too lonely. Plus, I still do have my so-called _father_, and ugh, how much I hate him now."

She got up and went to her dresser and looked at the picture that was sitting there. "Mom, I miss you. I know that we didn't have the best mother and daughter relationship, but I really did love you. You brought me into this world, and you could've taken me out of it too. I recently found out you were going to give me up for adoption when I was born. Though you changed your mind, I see. I'm glad that you did. Yes, I was a pain, but I guess you learned to deal with it." A tear rolled down her cheek and hit the picture that was now in her hand. "I'm sorry how much I ignored you, and if I could get another chance, I'd listen to your every word, I mean it. I love you, I barely said that to you and I wish I had said that more often, because you gave me a life and you loved me as much as I love ham." She wiped tears with her sleeve of the sweatshirt, and stood there looking at the picture. "I love you…" She sat it back down on the dresser.

She walked to the picture on the wall and began cry again. Angry tears this time. "Why, _dad_, why? All this time you fooled me into thinking you were my real father. Why didn't you just tell me when I was younger? Maybe then I wouldn't know the meaning of being depressed. It hurts, _dad_. It feels like a stranger is in my life now. I looked up to you and I thought you were my hero, but I guess not. I hate you so much right now. I even told you my deep secrets. Damn, was I on something when I told you those? The point is that I trusted you with everything. Now, I guess that's out of the picture. Did I mention I hate you? Yes, but I will never get tired of saying that to you now." She kicked the wall. "What hurts the most is being so close and having so much to say, and not seeing loving you was what I was trying to do." She gave a big sigh and leaned up against the wall. "I could never say I love you to your face ever again." She slid down the wall and onto the floor as she cried. "I hate you."

After three minutes, she got up and went to the kitchen, because she was hungry. She looked in the refrigerator and seen a pot of chilli that her mom made two days ago. She figured it'd still be good to eat, after-all it keeps for about a week or so before it goes bad. So she grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and began pouring some into it, then put in the microwave for two minutes.

Buzz, buzz; her cell phone vibrated. She reached into her pocket and brought it out. It was a text from Carly saying that her and Freddie was on their way over there to keep her company since she was home alone. She text her back with an okay.

She sat down at the table with her bowl of chilli. She also had a pen and a notebook, because she was going to write a letter to her real dad even though she had no clue who he is or where he is.

_Dear Father, _

_So many years I've been ignored; you'd been gone without a trace. You're just a name without a face. Wait, I don't even know you're damn name. I've never even seen you. You were never in my life, why? Did you even want a child in your life? I'm guessing that you didn't, because if you did, then you'll be here with me, showing me what I haven't learned. I guess it's better that you don't bother. All our truth should be left alone. Just to be left alone. You're out there somewhere, but I don't know if you care at all. It seems that you don't. It's as if the day will never come, so you remain a complete unknown. Though you could be dead somewhere and as if I would even care. _

_Love?, _

_Your Forgotten Daughter_

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She was laying on the couch, watching some sappy love movie. "Ugh," she let out a sigh. The thought of love made her sick to her stomach. "Love hurts," she thought of all the memories with her so-called father. She threw the remote on the table in front of her. Those memories were so upsetting to her, and she just wanted to erase them from her mind. "Argh!" She punched the pillow and kicked the floor. She sat there with no tears present, yet. After a few minutes, she walked to the front door, opened it and just stood there. She leaned her head against the door frame and took a breath of fresh air. "I hate this," she said to herself. "I wish this stuff never even happened." A gust of wind blew her hair in her face, so she took the hair-tie off around her wrist and pulled it back into a pony tail.

She walked to the chair on the porch and sat down while she seen Carly and Freddie get out of the cab and walk up the sidewalk. "Hey, Sam." They both said. She gave a weak smile and just waved.

"Are you alright?" Carly asked as she sat down on the other chair beside her.

Sam looked down at the ground, because she got tears in her eyes. "I'm fine," she said in a shakily voice.

"You don't seem fine." Freddie said as he sat up on the wooden fence.

Silence for a moment. She glanced at them both then looked back down and let out a squeal. Tears fell from her eyes.

"Are you crying?" Freddie asked, because he never actually seen her cry before. She turned her head and wiped her tears away with her shirt. She turned back around and said, "No, Fredward, I wasn't."

"It looked like it to me." Freddie had gotten up and went behind her. He patted her on the back. "It's okay; everyone cries," he tried to comfort her. Carly looked at him with an awe look. She thought Freddie was being a gentleman to Sam even though he and her fought all the time.

Sam looked behind her and gave a chuckle. She seen him act like this with only Carly. _'He'd be too scared to comfort me. Well, I guess not now,' _she thought as she smiled.

"What's with the smile?" Freddie asked.

"Because you're funny." Sam answered. "Hey, let's watch a movie!" She quickly changed the subject before it got in farther detail, and started to get up.

"Why the change of subject?" Freddie asked, confusedly. Carly wondered it too, "Why?"

Sam looked at them and rolled her eyes. "Is this twenty-one questions or what?" She seemed ticked. "Let's just watch a movie!"

"What movie?" Carly asked.

"I don't care. As long as it's not a lovey dovey movie, it's fine." She walked into the house and they both followed her.

Sam picked up the remote and handed it to Carly. "Here. See what's on pay-per-view. Make sure it's funny." She demanded. "I'm gonna get some snacks." She was about to walk into the kitchen, but Carly asked, "Your _dad_ won't mind if you buy a movie off here?"

"Oh, who gives a shit. I don't care. It's not like I pay the bill." She walked away. Carly shrugged as her and Freddie sat down on the couch. They began to looking for a good, funny one.

Sam put a bag of popcorn in the microwave for two minutes and twenty-two seconds. While waiting she began to search for other snacks. She opened the door to pantry and seen something that caught her eye pretty quickly, and thought it would go good with the popcorn. _"Should I?" _she thought and stared at it for a moment. She shook her head, _"That kind of looks good right now."_ She picked it up and read it. _"Ninety percent. Holy shit. That'd fix my problems, for sure… well, at least for a little bit anyway." _She stared at it and then she thought, _"What the hell." _She got a cup and began to pour some in it. _"A little alcohol won't hurt."_ She had taken a drink and made a face. Sure it was horrible, but she kept taking sips of it. She didn't care. It was relieving her from her problems.

A few seconds later, she sighed and felt her cheeks. They were warm and it felt like she was burning up, so she went to the sink, bent down and splashed water onto her face. As she raised back up, she got a major rush. "Whoa!" She walked away and almost lost her balance.

The microwave just stopped and the popcorn smelled good. She brought out a big bowl and poured the popcorn in it, then started heading to the living room. "Did you guys find a funny movie?" She asked as she sat down beside Carly.

"Well, we've got two choices." Carly said. "The one about two guys who get high a lot." She paused. "Or the one about a dog and a cat who become friends." Freddie finished.

Sam dazed out.

"Sam?" They both waved their hand in front of her face.

She shook her head. "Huh? What?" She groaned as she held her head.

"What's the matter?" Carly asked.

Sam got up. "I gotta use the bathroom. The one about the two guys will be good, so yeah, but don't start it until I come back." She started to run to the bathroom when she stopped in the hall. She went to the kitchen and got that bottle, then continued to run to the bathroom.

She sat on the toilet and downed half of the bottle in like three minutes. Needless to say, she had a pretty good buzz going on. "Man, I feel good!" She giggled and burped, then went back into the living room.

"You okay, Sam?" Carly asked. Freddie looked at her, worriedly.

"Yeah. I think that popcorn is messing with my digestive system." She lied and was about to sit down, but there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" She was stumbling walking, and when opened it, she said, "Spencer!" and gave him a kiss. "I love you."

Spencer was just stood there, confused. "Uh, Sam, are you okay?" He asked as he smelled her breath. "Have you been drinking?"

Carly walked over to him. "What's up, Spencer?"

"Well, I came over to get you…" He said as he looked out of corner of his eye. "No, Sam. Don't come any closer." He had a funny tone in his voice, and backed away.

"Why? What's wrong?" Carly was worried.

"Oh, it's just that granddad wants us to come and visit him. He said that he had some news to tell us." He explained. "By the way, what's wrong with her?" He pointed to Sam.

"What is?" Carly asked her.

Sam was mumbling. "I can't know." She shrugged.

"Are you drunk?"

Sam walked to her and gave her a hug. "Why?" She began to breakdown.

"Why, what?"

Once again, tears fell from her eyes. "Why did this happen? I mean, I loved my parents very much. Now it feels like I don't have any."

Carly rubbed her back to try and comfort her.

"Uh, Carly, I'll tell granddad that you're with a friend who needs your help. So you don't have to come if you don't want to." Spencer said, walking outside the door.

"Thanks, Spence."

He gave an 'it'll be alright look', then shut the door behind him and left in his car.

Sam let go of Carly and suddenly collapsed onto the floor, screaming like she was terrified. Carly and Freddie rushed to her. "Sam!" they both said, worriedly.

She continued screaming for about two minutes, and when her so-called dad stepped in the door, he came rushing to her and said, "What's wrong?"

With her eyes closed, she scooted across the floor to get away from him.

He followed. "Sweetie, what's the matter?" he said in a soft voice.

She opened her eyes and began to shout, "Shit! Are you for real?!" No tears were present anymore. "Sweetie?!… I'm not even your freakin' daughter!"

"Don't start this again!" He shouted. "Let's try and be a happy family."

"Oh, dog crap!" She rolled her eyes. "I'd be better living in a foster home than with you. I hate you! "

He just stood there, silently.

"You heard me!" She walked to him and got in his face and said the words one by one, "I. Hate. You." She walked away with tears in her eyes once again. Her, Carly, and Freddie headed out the door to go to Carly's apartment.

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The end. How did you like it? Please review :)


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